lover in a loony bin

 

lover in a loony bin
leave me there
and come back when

i am cured of all my shit
made "stepford wife" for a new begin

perfectly posed
and propped up, for pleasure
alive to be your goldmine, treasure
not pooped out, you,
from the onslaught of me
all the overwhelm
my infinite emotions, they bring..

exhaust to your pipes,
your stars and your stripes
that wave so proudly,
like in the air, shines your flag
shot down by the drag that is me,
gushing fag

flooding,
with all my pent up emotions
elusive, are the wanted
not lap dog bitches filled, devotion

puppies are cute, but get old,
really quick
no wonder i never found
any good, strong "stick around" dick

never learned my lessons
so i walk around all bruised and used
second guessin'
every word and thought i expressed
while the lucky
are busy gettin' down, undressed

fucking and sucking
on tit, pussy, cock, ass
while all i get is over,
as in looked,
"uh, no thanks, I'll pass"..

huh?
jesus christ,
doesn't anyone want
any real love anymore?

better yet,
its coming from someone
gutter minded, well trained,
a turned out, filthy whore

i can be that, and so much,
all the more
but all i seem to get,
is the perpetual wave,
as in goodbye, out the door

so gotta change it up,
gotta pill it, pop it
whatever it takes, to finally see
enough's enough

cuz eight sure wasn't
as in ate the dust, as in angel,
he ain't bluffin'

eight is enough,
for some, sure, that's true
but eight ain't the right age
to think you learned
how to bend, to be even better
as the neighborhood, backyard
blue boy, slam him, screw

as my guardian, think angel,
looked, ran, bolted,
"outta there", in shame

lover in a loony bin
look at me, mirror,
i have someone else to be,
but no else not blame...

gotta get rid of that,
that thing, in the chest
no matter, the majority
i make, my mistake
the ever all mighty fucking priority
tame it, tamp it, down, let it go
or else i will, yes, forever
be the un-fucked, un-kissed,
unloved minority

of weirdos who think
being open, raw, ever devoted, is good
might as well carve out,
a pathway to hell
on a piece of tossed out, rotted wood

kinda like my belief system, ingrained
it ain't doing shit to get me done
while all the others,
are all out, having fun

tasting each other,
tongues, lips, locked, entwined
as i sit here, alone in the dark
a sixteen, forty-eight year old
hoping and praying,
some sweet bad boy "be mine"

it's get on out there
and play it, the game
even if, left empty inside afterward
that's just what you get,
for "the get", for "the gain"

cuz lessons they hurt,
but damn, the pleasure in the pain...

lover in a loony bin
time to leave there now and live,
a more attractive, cock worthy catch,
but underneath hiding,
a devoted, bitch for love, fool
different name, beating heart,
trapped inside, just the same....



bowen hart roselli
23 september 2020
ringwald love