lost and found.

wired wrong,
gotta be strong
most don't care,
beyond the surface,
aware....

"put you first",
here, it is rare
land of show and tell,
not share

as in mutual,
energy exchange
narcissistic, now normalized
and "sensitive sanity", deranged

it's excuse and blame
and game after game
invited all, the party
but nobody came...

because it was, the kind,
based in soul
as in honest conversation,
no costumes, no roles

too late, the "wake up"
like the model, photographed
without any make-up
funny, our vision and blindness,
the same
a "child of the wild",
that could never be tamed...

to realize, to learn
how success is obtained
"mask on, sealed tight"
with a smile, ever ready
everything here, a stage,
for the fright...

the one called the fight,
oh, they love competition
better, if beautiful
you are, by definition...

"camera ready",
just hold it real steady
take it, fake it
angled and mangled
the meaningful magic,
keys to kingdoms, so dangled...

cuz you're no one,
'til someone
decides that you are
then suddenly
look!, you're a god damn star!

made of paper or tinsel
or plastic, who cares
just as long as the machine
grinds you whole, gets you there

where, exactly?
well, "the right side",
tracks, lasting
as long as they say
you worthy and bankable
'til the sheen of your shine,
it starts to wear off,
and your light dims, burns dull

"can't have that"
but you did, once have me
every star in the sky,
it was you, i did see

until you gave,
as in gave up, on me
taught me, real heartbreak
is the fall of you,
in your "finished with" me

took me awhile,
to grasp, yes, it happened
my slow walk to death row
in your eyes, heart, so fastened

on to the next,
buckled up, belt, your seat
some sorrows, they linger
past the end credits, complete

finished films, final chapters
"applause, applause"
you smile pleased, from the rafters

of the theatre
in the mind, silent words
they speak, yes, in volumes
answer, my final worth...

to you, to her, to him,
just a whim
of your will, in the moment
a cheap rental, never worth
real investment, called "own it"

the truth, the bond,
the believe, the deceive
and we wonder why "never mind"
is so easy to stockpile,
and even easier, achieve

survival of the fittest!
at any, all cost
just don't forget the "i love you",
without effort, action, tossed off...

it helps alleviate the pain,
that is, if you feel it
careful, next time, it could be you,
someone steals it

your "vulnerable",
your "wonderful",
that thing called a mind,
inside that muscle,
meat in your skull

just like that cup,
you know,
"half empty, half full"...

the shove out the door
"felt it", more push, less the pull...

still, in the silence
dead of night, i remember
all the hard work, not really
it took for you, to dismember

the beautiful
that became, once, us
just a little thing, called love,
called trust

guess it's more easy to find,
than i thought

some wisdom, through wounds
it must be learned,
it cannot be taught

so go forth, good man, soldier
and try not to cry,
once exhaustion hits, older
you are and you feel
in a lifelong quest to retain
a heart beat and heal

just maybe, one day
he'll come back and he'll stay
but never, now,
will you be, quite the same

as you walk forward without him
he's here to stay, deep within you
loved...remarkably

beyond you...your pride, your doubt..

with him, your soul, lost and found..

either way.


bowen hart roselli
14 november 2020
ringwald love