keeping secrets, instead.

to the lengths of which
i've lost my mind
for the things we search
but cannot find

could they be found
by looking within
or is the secret found
in surrender, give in

to all that which
we cannot know
cannot perceive
once seeds are sown

some say "rent"and some say "own"
some wander in packs
while some walk alone

which one "is"
and which one "was"

the you, you believed
well, "just because"

because someone told you
that's what you were

decided, your fate
like the "should" in the "sure"

as in, are you really, so strong, underneath
to not be conditioned, like "wash, rinse, repeat"

do the same things over, and over again

like the song "saved by zero"
"maybe someday i'll win..."

but you won't
if you don't
soon awaken,
this fracture

the one that separates your "you",
from the rapture

of feeling the soul of your skin, for yourself
walk in truth, heart assured, you are nobody else

but the you
that sees things
and feels them, quite deep

misunderstood, maybe
like "the sheep" is, to seep

inside of you
then leave, true blue
wondering, this mind of yours
is it all, a lie, or truth

flashbacks, playgrounds
casual brutalities of youth
banish them, behind you
no need, "play the sleuth"

just breathe, in your confident
and bleed, then get on with it.

living in your dream
before it leaves, left, in you
a haunting vision
of what, "if only", i'd said
all the things, loving
lost, them, trapped in my head

there are many things that i can do
stripped and "salved", naked, bed

but i lay here in silence,
keeping secrets, instead



15 may 2018 ringwald love