in the ongoing attempt to see of the beyond, for your beautiful

to love someone
give to someone
care for someone
who is not just someone

beyond yourself
beyond walls and wounds
manifestations of the mind,
fears loom

beyond "lost" limitations,
a lack of self confidence
an embedded belief system,
ingrained, if it's me,
something i hope for..
something will, in the way,
go wrong with it

always does,
"because, because"..
seems that's what happens
when you live for love

not "normal" here,
even though it's claimed
by prophets, priests,
and the playground ordained

success, survival of the fittest, unfit
copycat creatures, scratching,
clawing, clamoring for the latest
"look at me", hit

song or scene
or invention, intention
"quick buck, quick fuck"
"long list, good luck"...


we humans,
at least the ones remaining
amongst the onslaught of others
known as "people", all their
shallow, soulless ruinous staining

have a hard time,
"falling in line",
trusting it's true,
when we find, like a miracle
one of our kind

unlike anyone else,
that's the problem
like some strange angel,
here, they have fallen

can't define them, confine them,
to easy epitaphs
definitions, molds
easy "fit to frame" masks

these few, amongst the "everyone"
not the smoothest of paths,
as they come
rough around the edges
and seams
but oh, the insights, the "soul shine"
it beams...

of a beautiful, like no one
has seen here before
a mystery, inherent
indescribable, all the more

fascinating as,
is "factual" always not
something that, in books,
can be taught

some souls tear up
every page, every rule
by no fault of their own,
they "just are",
within the chaos of cruel

the kind, the considerate
the ones most likely deemed
"the functionally illiterate"

the sensitive, the "so then, scarred"
the ones' who can see past
this "lump of rock",
shoot straight through the stars

to a universe
far beyond most,
of limited perception
these, the heroines, the heart throbs
of "the dream come true" perception

i carry within,
that carries me forward
keeps me focused on the "cherish"
in a mind, a landscape,
littered with disorders

"disorderly conduct",
i suppose i am that criminal
as my understanding
of how to be human,
with a heart that gives,
gets out of here alive,
it is minimal

to say nothing of all
the utter failures and fractures
i guess i never could
make up my mind,
other than to love,
and to give a shit about it,
what it was, here, i was after

so full responsibility,
to the end of it all
i will take it, 'til it kills me

i hate most everyone,
but good god, yes
i loved you
and the only thing i dare try,
"get it right",
was to follow my heart
and, for you,
so touchingly, "fragile fire" rare,

do the one thing I'm not good at
with much of anything else...

and actually, account-ably
you, such a gift, to this world,

follow through.


bowen hart roselli
2 december 2020
ringwald love