(him) an inner illuminate, investigate.

no consistency but chaos
like the dentist always changing
what is the best dental floss
or the rinse and spin cycle
before the brain, it is washed

one day it's this,
the next day it's that
always two steps away
from the rug being pulled,
out from under
watch the "wel" turn to "how", in the "come"
on the matt

as in asking, eternal
how and why?, burn infernal
there is no rhyme, if there is no reason
yes, the climate has changed
call it the "free for all" season

is he saying to you, the same things, "tricked",
everyone else?
the soul of words, sobbing,
as they are sent, straight to hell

one second, "enamored"
then in the split, found, forgotten
there is a tighter ass, a leaner frame
in things made of leather,
not 85 percent cotton

the ability to communicate
orgiastically, demmodulate
with the obliterate
of any truth, obligate

as if hundreds of thousands
have entered me, and came
shot their load, and then shit
talked it out of me, same

as in it's all too easy
to say anything and everything, you want
fantasize and proselytize
and then vanish
like a lewded and pillaged, store front

one whose windows
once glistened and gleamed
"walk through me, want me"
"i'm so pretty, so come in and see"

but now it's been robbed
of what once gave it promise

walk past, and ignore
for another, it's a long list.....

of shopping for bodies
and shipping out, fast
sifting through the wreckage
seems to be the only "relation ship", that lasts

trying to make sense of it all,
clear, an actualized vision, a path
pray that there is one
more "reap of reward",
less of wrath

the heart and value
of communication
raped and ruined,
upon, investigation

we are all doing, what we don't want done
to us, death of trust
and loyalty, like the sun

that we know will always
arise, in the morning
who believes anymore
in the eyes of just one, worth adoring

whole heart, whole mind
whole being, "star seeing"
them, aligned, like a gift
now misread texts, causing rifts

and ruptures, that make
it easy to turn, away, and even better, to fake
all the reasons inside
there is a "run", for the "hide"

behind walls fabricated
of glass and technology

actually feel and mean
what you say, you are damned
alone, a stranger of "the strange", an anomaly

in the smorgasbord
of real intimacy, whored
and pimped, for the "scrabbled"
and best received, in form, "babbled"

as in easy, in the "disposed of"
watch the angels cry, fallen, here
on the death and destruction of love

nothing left to do
but raise your head and look above
to the sky and wonder why
you aren't needed and you are never enough

to be soul seen and felt
and believed and recieved

as the one to give up for
the sword and shield of decieve

"you're so good, you're no good"
she said
you make it too easy for them
in your "give your all, believe"

and then spend your time wondering,
of your "give" where is the return, the recieve

it's not anywhere, bonded, in "lasting"
that i've found

and so emptied, of "illuminate"
here in past loves, lost, i've drowned

waiting to be wanted, reflected, here, found

again

this is written, in the longing of "him",
a secret wish, his heart
i am praying, my soul enslaving

i'll win.

(his "lasting", not leaving, bond, believing....achieving)



17 may 2019
ringwald love