gimme everything, and joe piscopo too (and it still won't won't be you)

gimme everything,
everything i want
plus everything i think i want
and it still won't be enough
because "everything" isn't you
and it never will be
because, you
there is only one

irreplaceable, indefinable
incomparable
unfathomable, your mystery
your artistry

the art of simply being you.

infuriatingly impenetrable,
as in strong willed and sensitive,
just the same

belligerent and beautiful
blind and so alive
in all you see and sense,
once and once more, time again

so gimme everything,
anything, to preoccupy myself
distract myself from your absence,
the nagging slow drip ache,
the pain

of simply not being able
to be around you

sit near you
talk to you
relate to you,
not quite relate to you

differences, fascinating
but given the chance to
I've learned a lot,
explored your inner landscape,
with love

the parts you've allowed me,
shared with me,
somewhat, trusting
then somewhat not

a duality, a complexity
that reflects the truth
that lives, breathes inside me

an inner war, a battle,
a struggle

to be human here
surrounded by the suffocating
strangle hold
"same old, same old"

rules applied,
"looks like we've died"
just a little bit more,
than we wish to want to
recognize

so gimme everything...

joe piscopo,
in his soul shivering,
heart throb, knee quivering prime

plenty of money
to never again have to worry

a decent job, dare it have
lasting purpose and a good future,
benefits, pay, to match

a string of nights
with consistent, deep sleep

the removal inside,
binge like hunger,
processed, garbage food to eat

gimme tacos 'til eternity
because they remind me of you

the heaven i once felt
eating them with, and while
talking, soul sharing with you

i knew it then,
as i feel it, same, now

knew i was blessed,
simultaneously touched

the tiniest things,
the biggest, light brings

seemingly throwaway moments
none were disposable
because they were with you

lastly, gimme the courage
to share this shine, this shit
with you
and not care, not worry
that you'll never get, embrace
understand me

i am simply speaking
the truth

gimme that, gimme everything
because i know

no one and nothing
is the "everything"

i felt, i found
i kind of died a little bit
in the name of heaven,
hand bit by hell

just by standing there
in the sunshine

by your side.

the gods know how i miss that,
how i miss you

nothing more, nothing less

than it meant the universe,
the world

as in everything
to know, experience, adore
embrace, love you

in the way i can, in the way i do

so all i want is "everything",
but differently now
'cuz you changed me,
destroyed, broke and saved me

for seeing
a different kind of everything
worth fighting, struggling for

that's the treasure chest in you,
that's what true

I'd give up everything
just to have you back,
have you around

but i still wouldn't mind
joe piscopo, in or out of his prime,
beautiful, "off the beaten path"
brilliant man

"different and everything"...

just like you.


bowen hart roselli
4 december 2020
ringwald love