Feelings free-for-all

it's a feelings free-for-all
let's have one, ok?
and have a ball...

stomping, stepping,
smashing 'em to bits..
like feelings were laxatives
and we've all got the shits...

as in no one gives a fuck
what you feel
that's just life,  just part of the deal
it's a "me first" world
filled with selfish boys 'n girls
what is it they say
about swine before pearls?

oops, that's in, reverse,
my mistake,
so beat me, good please
all my feelings, for you to partake

the ones called "worthless",
"less than", "dumb"
abuse, built tough,
now it makes me cum...

all the words, so demeaning, wrong
get me hard, salivate my "strong"
need to be put in a place, i understand
topped off with the whip,
creamed, your back hand

stricken, struck
like the mind, is a fuck
one that drills me, deeper, into you
all the feelings you own, yes It's true

the one's quite good,
that are twisted as bad
loyalty, love,
turn me, happy to sad

that for some reason,
they leave me last on your list
a lifetime of this, trains one good,
"take a fist"

'cuz at least that's honest
and "makes me a man"
tough enough to sit on, not hold,
your hand
built for a bruising
and a conditioned reaction,
enthusing!

primed and chimed,
my bell rung, "good for using"

but even better for believing,
the more you've mastered
the art of deceiving

I'm all heart, for "the give",
you're receiving
and "all crawl", for the bone, thrown
retrieving

the one you offer,
that you dangle, just enough
that says, when you feel like it
you kinda like me, "'n stuff"

illusions of something more,
like "care"
watch me do anything,
take every risk, every dare..

this feelings free-for-all
i was born, made,
quite aware...

that real love, with depth
and soul, heart, it is rare..

so i set out to be,
all the things, that were lost on me..
kind, considerate, thoughtful, you see?

in a moment, a heartbeat
you can lift, make someone's day
just by being genuine,
speaking of things that the others'
won't say

compliments, praisings
sung, sweet, with soul
while too many, called "most"
are far too busy playing
the "bullshit speak" role

as in "blah, blah, blah"..
it all means nothing
with very few willing
to call all the bluffing...

hollow words, hollow ears
hollow smiles, hollow tears...
hollow truth, hollow eyes
hollow sex, hollow thighs..

the feelings free-for-all
it's real, not a lie
many come to trample,
and few stop, look back, why?

cuz that requires empathy
with a heaping dose, responsibility
the realization that "you"
matters to "me"
and can form that thing,
so scary, feared, worse than death,
called "we"...

but that requires too much effort,
here and now,
too much focus, "weird",
what's that all about?

"must be something wrong with him"..
to truly give a shit now,
damn, the outlook is grim..

so grab it, stab it,
fuck it, made
the feelings free-for-all
it "just is"
one, the same

I'm only responsible for mine
so, "fuck you"

and with that simple statement,
brutal truth,

done,
I'm through....

(as in "done" by one and all, then you,
the one i voted "most unlikely to"...
do me, the way you've done, in the end,
no, not that one,

it's just the feelings-free-for-all,
feeling,
once again.....)

but the feeling, underneath
is the feeling,
believe in you, always
your light, the fight...

no matter what...

'til the end.


bowen hart roselli
15 july 2020
ringwald love