life beyond me,
filled with mysterious
all the things my limited blindness
awareness, when beyond this psyche,
the forest from the woods
the fine line between all the "cant'"
and the "could"
been one way
for far too long
opening the wounds
to release the poison,
to self-doubt, hatred, violence
of the eviscerate my internal state
the fear, the worry i arrived, too late
to recognize, I'm "all in my head"
want, learn to live, before i am dead
learning to listen,
i can hear, listen, him
something in him, somehow speaks
to the thirsty soul,
there is life, sea of stars, beyond me
i never set out, goal
"I'm gonna see people, surroundings
in the negative,"
but reality, hardships, took,
yes, their toll
and "pin holed" the prism,
the telescope of sight, my soul
became from widescreen, panoramic
to something hyper-focused
on "survival mode", no dynamic
ability to see the magic, the wonder
as this scarring scope,
pulled me further inward, and under
the labyrinth, abyss
inner focused, within
all my pain, all my mistakes
all the "wrong path", darkened mistakes
of the ugly, the shame
an acute inability to thrive
amongst the opportunity, the game
just not my thing, not very good
as in terrible at navigating,
the "how to be" and
"ways of the would"
make it farther if i only could
get past the inherent awkward of me
beyond fractured psyche,
shifts, kaleidoscopic, engulfing
self-distrust, "set me free"
inherently sweet, nucleus good,
before i knew it, could see
what was happening
he came, arrived
to erase the words, the definitions
the limited perspectives,
opened my eyes,
my landscape, self lies
so ingrained, so small, in their scope
brought forth, in his presence
some sort of "moved",
the teardrops whispered... hope
a feeling, vulnerability
i had long left behind
forever stuck, loops,
the past, in rewind
couldn't see much, called little
not like i found,
amongst this beyond indescribably
beautiful man's dwell
not a god, just so touchingly human
present and sensitive and smart
of light and fight and fearless
to be near this..
man, this wonder of quiet magic,
the gift of life, not "things"
more than the experience
of a connection, reciprocal
an alignment to the allowable
of opening self
to the treasure, give pleasure
heart, one's inner being, to another
one who, soul essence,
is the "utter" in utterly
unlike any other
I'd ever witnessed, encountered
made all of my selfish, fade away
simply, sweetly not mean much
there is so much left to explore..
delicate intricacies of trees, nature
water, open doors..
of mind and care
turned possible,in his "together",
a blindness, given sight,
strikingly naked, stripped bare
a desirous submission, clean
this engulfing feeling,
he, the worth, in need, hope to please,
opened, the skies, skin of sensual
nothing untoward, revealing
a love like i have never quite known
It's real, it's alive
as more inside this transcendence
of tenderness shown..
he, the mystery, unfold
i could not have fathomed
could not have known
upon me, just near him
to the universe, enlightened
in him, i can feel it, if i let it
i am his, in that, i can feel him
like no other,
no, i am not here alone.
future, bright then.
if somehow he will, would
accept, embrace, allow this
there is no definition i can find for it
except, among, within his
(this...just is...love, life, hope
masculine mesmerize, magic, heart)
bowen hart roselli
27 july 2020
the realm of the poetic.
prisoner of the psyche and the inescapable. heart.