for moments amongst the no fear endear

prone to bleed
filled with need
dark thoughts feed
self doubts breed

thoughts repeat
loops defeat
fears compete
desires, discrete

rage aroused,
his "well endowed"
not great in crowds
fuck, get me out...

hold me down
let me drown
give you a crown
your mind renowned

i like aggression
so much repression
my life's confession
it's not depression

deep sadness, destined
what's north, south, west again?
feel like I'm soaked in sin
that started way back when...

divine obsessions
memory regressions
love the man who questions
he's good with directions

he drives with confidence, strong
his glances deep and long
to me its right, but wrong
these feelings him, i belong

i know i don't but do
to him it's nothing new
he doesn't care, but does
and it just is, because...

i can't control my heart
and here, he is now, huge part
filled, top, of brilliant art
i dream one day, new start

to be with him again
pray not "the why", but "when"
a new beautiful, bright begin
one this time without an end..

he is my favorite friend
he's got such incredible skin
pale, clean, he shines within
my resolve, he wears it thin

its not a crime, it's love
it shined, like from above
just fit like hand in glove
no need for push, pull, shove

in the end, he's just my mate
he showed up one day, fate
never imagined this, my state
of overcome, his "hold", so great

doesn't matter, to him, does?
it, matter, just because
it's what i feel and was
so alive amongst him, buzz

of lights, there electric hum
don't think i was ever numb
around his mind, heart, become
like heaven on earth found, done

as in, I'm good to go
couldn't hope for more, his grow
bond with me, blessed and so
all the things he taught me, shown

here now, this heart, so spilled
yeah, you could call me killed
as in so fully filled
with him, his "know" instilled

ingrained, like rain, he pours
washed up to sea, his shore
one day I'll open the door
and he'll be here once more

this, just, "it's me", you see
this dream, reality
all now, It's him, i see
the one, i do believe...

so sweet, yet dangerous
don't know why, maybe because
he's got my heart, his hand
but doesn't need it, man

of magic, girls, his way..
yet still, I'll always stay
who cares what it's called, ok
some things we cannot say

but his beautiful i will not stray
and it makes me happy, days
and nights, of endless dreams

this, the ballad, heart, his
it seems.....

moments, self doubt, free and clear
i now know what it means, bigger picture
beyond me,

no fear.


bowen hart roselli
10 september 2020
ringwald love