simultaneously

 
simultaneously

i am a heart
occupying a body
inside bone
underneath skin

i have a pair of eyes
that convey the within
one's that simultaneously
express truth and lies
with and amongst, the best of them

i have lips that speak
from said heart, that beats
and private parts
involved in dark/light things
secrets known to strangers
within the realm of "lost time" sheets

i have fingers
that write
express, it seems,
what many, you, cannot
and a mind well haunted
by experiences, faces
framed in fractures
that time forgot

i have a soul
filled with holes
leaking the light
and the darkness, so sold
a universe inside
of stars, many faces
hung, heaven, hopeful
so many, here gone
but how they've left
such indelible, undefinable traces...

i have an energy, an aura
just like you
some of us scarred though
with an insanity called
"see right through"..

that is, of course,
if i am seen, at all
i am acutely aware,
the fate of which
i seem so destined to fall..

it's the last invisible
for which separation from it
not remotely divisible
from the equation that equates
what i am
sum total here, a freak
and even less so, a man

It's the chord, the calling
of love, swelled, inside
the few fallen faces
of a beautiful, felt magical
and so, "spell" compelled,
as if by gods, to abide

inescapable
born, a black/blue bruise
called "quite rapeable"
that i was, and that i am
disavowed, the one with pure intention,
outreaching hands

hands attached to limbs,
lived for silent soaked walking
in equal to all the time spent
emotive, heart/sleeve intense, talking

all said
measurements sized
and summed up, with this
i am little, to less than
nothing here, in your memory
placed, bliss

verging of unnecessary
i occupy a space, temporary
the one where loved and adored
comes and goes
the one where the split screen inside
bleeds and flows

back and forth
like the wind through the trees
my only stabilization
is a place well worn
called down on my knees

for praise and devotion
a worshipful ocean
a state, it seems,
comes so easy, for you
the state called connection
to other forces, faces, bodies
so many interests, so many friends
collected, hobbies

yet for me
that couldn't be
further from the truth
as evidenced in the reality
i remember, remarkably well
human traveler, a mystery, you

yet i know, am aware
the same does not go for me
simultaneously
in you

strangers, we are
came upon, lived and died
and how, weathered storms
yes, i gave my all and more,
as in tried

to little/no evidentiary avail,
the ship sails simultaneously
one heart wins, as another one fails

beyond the scope of reason
and pale

simultaneously
in shadows
we hide and hope
for some sense of sacred
an intimacy, life expectancy
beyond expiration

beyond the vain and the vacancy

prevail.


bowen hart roselli
27 october 2020
ringwald love