not for the faint of heart.

"i hide in the shadows, but i long so deeply to be seen"
- sister bliss - 2014

or.

just a slightly bent, but ultimately well meaning, expression of all the fractures and feelings,
in my heart and in my head...

***These poems are pictures/windows into the psyche that i claim as my own. My perceptions are just that. Perceptions of possibilities, not all true and not all false, especially when it comes to the truths, confusions in my head surrounding some of the relationships, experiences mentioned within them.****

Poems are a picture of a moment in time. Things change, truths emerge. I am as equally wrong as i am, possibly, right. No harm intended nor "absolute truth" implied, by all the things i think or write, within the realm of the labyrinth, the mind.

---

(i will become) stronger than my memory of you

keeping secrets, instead.

some one found my inner heart.

prisoner of the red lights.

little annie, lotsa liar?

of carrot dangles and resistance angles.

the man lives, here (for jesse tyler)

my shell, it seems

angel, its alright now

eden electrified (naked, with no one)

they'll be selling the sidewalk soon

        how do you rewrite the story of your life, when it feels like the story has already written you? -
                 b.h.r  04.05.19

---

heaven (the love of the lonely heart)

for feelings suffocating beneath the skin

live it, lick it, dream it, do it

---

everyday sunshine suzy

---

my heart, he called me the book of love boy

when the stardust falls.

---

breath steal and heartbreak

i dream of jesse

---

head cases for soul traces

on the lark of love.

7th june 2019 (how many lives could he possibly have left?)

a "spirit of sassa" love poem, see?

inappropriate, in the scope of it.

---

falling.

more like a tree please

requiem for a brilliant brooder (teacher, tormentor, should be cult leader)

american fag.

cigarette dangles

---

the shapeshifters' star drifter

(him) an inner illuminate, investigate.

when my shit turns, asylum (our tribe of fucked up souls)

bruised eye on...beautiful. (another moment i fell in love)

attachments. (strange, came the stranger)

---

divinity in a drowning world.

e.s.p. (for a visionary friend)

it takes a memory (to be remembered)

at the collapse, for a heart, this synapse

every lasting anything (grows)

through the swell of love's sadness, shines a heart drenched thank you

home (i used to dream, he'd come)

of chaos and calm (casualties of war)

the man who burns his bridges with fire

side effect, sometimes

of trainwreck and tragedy twins (brothers of the war, our within)

b.h.r - 9 april 2020

courage transfusion. (trying, for leah)

for homie, a time, a friend.

i'm trying to figure things out for myself

the dysfunction junction.

why didn't i figure this out sooner? your guide to being normal.

this timeless attempt (here alone)

trying.

consistency and the natural velocity, reciprocity

s.a.d.d. - soulful attention deficit disorder

feelings free-for-all

care, beyond one (for him, the remarkable in a transcendent become)

his ebullient innocence

adverbs of frequency, to express how much you mean to me

life, love, laid, success (all that shit)

walls and the wounded, come down (a safe place to surrender and drown)

freedom in bondage. (not that kind, a state of soul, mind)

caged animals. (right there, yes i was, you were, all along)

serenity (amongst his alive, sweet awake)

wounded, but working on it.

in eyelids, imagined (yes i do feel him, believe him)

surface swimming, sadly (amongst the illuminance of a love, made in magically)

discernment (in a land of love, lacked integrity)

sick of you, somehow, i could never be, inherently

just...be...you..

kwar.

twenty-five lies because i love you

doormat, meet door

safe/unsafe

left turn, right turn (i belong to no one, nowhere, but then..)

fuck technology outreach, and me (for the love, the return, an exchange, naturally)

odd man, out

"when nothing has changed in your life"...

selfless/selfish

maybe..who fucking knows.

addict.

lover in a loony bin

oh i get it..i'm a people person...aah.

you. (contusions a condition)

bi-sex reflex in a complex duplex

words on the winds of when

i'm that guy, but not that girl

found, in the realm of fate

transcendence

light leaks, the asylum i see

in the lair of the lion, alone

in a state of you (i need to get laid)

sleep, then stimuli

for moments amongst the no fear endear

flat line friendships

matter, does it matter what matters?

in your illuminance (within and amongst)

attempting to be human here.

christy, christopher, christina, eric.

anymore. (what choice do i have)

can't get past you, can't give up

sweetly kinda psycho, so what

portrait of an aged out boy.

the walker (towards the other side, silently)

"mested and musted", too soon, all too much then..

the murder of stars.

a prisoner of me

two, but one in an empty room

simultaneously

real/unreal (all we were, once thought met feel)

lost and found.

what the look back reveals...

devoured, delivered (for the last time, broken)

suspended animation

the king of the stars

to be loved.

heaven on fire.

(taking) ownership of me

this life sucks, i want a new one (change)

let's just blame it on me (it's easier that way, exhausted, thanks)

evolve me as attractive, attractively please

in the ongoing attempt to see of the beyond, for your beautiful

gimme everything, and joe piscopo too (and it still won't be you)

the real underlying pandemic, america now, every "selfish soul dead" for themselves

utter devastation. (an introduction to..)

the kindest man i felt i knew

panic attack. (off the trail, off the track)

curse of the writer.

love, plus everything

broken (successful in succumbing)

yes, i guess, i needed to be broken

what will we show, where will it go?

- theodore ottaviano -

book of love.